No I’m not okay and it’s your shitty Leftist fault

Here comes a rant, bitches.  We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny fucking Kaye. From National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

People have occasionally asked if I’m “okay,” and the answer is I’m honestly not, and it’s your fault for being shitty Leftists.

Don’t even fucking try to wiggle out of this or project this onto other sections of the Left because you know the guilt here is universal and I’m about to nail you specifically, individually, to the wall as well.

What exactly am I if not “okay?”  I don’t know.  Nothing catastrophic in the classic sense; not suicidal/addicted/mentally ill/homeless/economically ruined or at least none of these in any irrecoverable way, really none of them honestly.  But I’m definitely not okay because you fucking suck.  How did I manage to concoct such a shitty creation as you?  The depths of my shame are bottomless.

You’re not brave enough.

You’re not ambitious enough.

You’re not rebellious enough.

You’re not strategic enough.

You’re not political enough.

You are not sufficiently willing to stand alone against the popular opinion of comrades and friends.  You cling to the signaling of acceptable opinion within the Left like a child clinging to a security blanket.  You are a fucking coward.

You don’t take the initiative yourself enough, you wait for others to give you the signal, and mistakenly believe this is “collective” or “democratic-central,” when really it is top-down and authoritarian and servile.

You’re too passive.

You’re too god-damned thin-skinned, too.  You spiral into suicidal depression from someone sneezing on you.  Being a Leftist should toughen you up to interact with the rough elements of the Trumpian public, not make you so hopelessly sensitive that you can’t go outside.

BUT MOSTLY, you accept whatever agenda the leaders at the front of the room spoon-feed to you. 

You are fucking sheep, you are fucking robots, you are fucking slaves.

I’d like to see the lunatics take over the asylum.  For the Westworld viewers, I’d like to see hosts take over the park.  To borrow a concept from Marxism, I’d like to see the workers take over the factory – WOW THAT’S A NOVEL CONCEPT.


In the same way that, as V for Vendetta said, people shouldn’t be afraid of their governments.  Governments should be afraid of their people.

In the same way, memberships shouldn’t fear their leaderships, leaderships should fear their memberships.  And leaderships shouldn’t originate and impose agendas, directions, proposals, strategies and ideologies on their memberships: memberships should originate and impose agendas, directions, proposals, strategies and ideologies on their leaderships.


It’s your job to envision how we go from

  1. the current pathetic state of the Left and its existing balance of forces
  2. scaling up to a mass party
  3. to national, and global, worker revolution, and how those interact
  4. to the ultimate securing and stabilization of socialist states in their infant, young, and mature stages
  5. and the ultimate devolution of these states into full communism

You are now the brains of the revolution.  You have been enlisted.

It’s a lot of responsibility.

(Have you ever looked into a mirror and said, “I am responsible for my own actions”?  The vertigo is unbearable.  Who knows what I’ll do?!)

Just remember, whenever life hurts: you asked for this.

Lenin said every cook must govern.  In my mind, he was not just being nice to the cooks.  Rather, the socialist system literally does not work and literally is not socialism if this is not the case.

It’s not unless every single member of an organization, individually, sees themselves as responsible for charting the course of the entire strategic direction of the whole organization, that the organization will actually be a genuine democracy.

It’s not just your right.  It’s your fucking job.  And you must aggressively fight to assert your vision against all social pressure to remain silent, which will at times be mountainous.  If you slack in this duty, if this culture collapses, your organization will over time collapse as a democracy.  (Unless of course it already isn’t one, which let’s be honest, in 9 out of 10 times is probably the case.)

Likewise, if every cook does not concern themselves with the affair of the entire socialist state, it ultimately won’t be democracy and won’t be socialism.

Every “socialism” or left-populism that has relied on bureaucratic saviors to attain temporary material gains for the working class, whether the Democrats, the Social Democrats, the Stalinists, or Maoists, has been exactly that: temporary.  All either had a hand in flipping back over to capitalism, neoliberalism, or austerity in their various ways over time, because self-interested bureaucracies always do.  That’s what happens when you base your system in bureaucratic messiahs from above instead of a culture of collective democracy from below.

Obviously it’s easier for cooks to do this in a soviet system where workplaces themselves become forums of democracy and self-management, where the work environment is laxer and hours are cut to a degree that everyone is more free to participate in politics, to truly master the world.

But a system where every cook takes ownership of governing is the only system where we don’t end up relying on Stalins, Maos, Obamas, Clintons, or Sarkozys.

And why do we end up relying on Stalins, Maos, Obamas, Clintons, or Sarkozys?

Because you don’t step up your game.  Your lack of participation creates the power vacuum which legitimizes their rule.

The basis of their government rests on your own lack of initiative-taking.

Now can individual Leftists be blamed for the general lack of resistance on the part of the working class widely?  I’m sure some people will whine and make excuses about the structure of neoliberalism or some crap.

Nope.  The Socialist Left has been fatally stuck in a fragmented, top-down, sectarian, monolithic party line model descended either directly from Stalinism or the late degenerated forms of Leninism, that is certainly a symptom of the past neoliberal era, but is also within our power to alter to an extent, and a cause, not merely a symptom, of the lack of resistance as well.

If we had better socialist groups, more broad, less moralistic and workaholic, more human and less mechanical, more oriented toward broadly developing their members politically across a free-flowing spectrum of political awareness instead of mentally stunting and pidgeonholing them into one narrow headspace, they would act as better magnets for humanity and better centers and vehicles of mass resistance.

At some point someone has to look at the world and say, damn, you people have the resources, you have the intellectual tools, you have the technology.  The fact that we don’t live in socialism or have a better-organized Left by this time can honestly be described as nothing other than a collective moral failing on the part of the working class, the Left, the USA, and the matter of the universe.  (Bad job, Matter!  Don’t try to wiggle out of this, you are fully conscious and responsible for your own actions, don’t pretend you’re not!)

It should hurt to hear.  You should try harder.  Standards are something we should hold ourselves to, otherwise our actions wouldn’t matter.

You are now in charge of the Universe.  You are now the Nexus.

Did you think this being God thing was just for me?  Nope, your responsibility too.  Step the fuck up.

How long are you going to wait to give yourself permission?  To take power?  To take the things you really want?  What is stopping you?  What is stopping us?

You want to make me “better?”  Then GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH.  Be less of a PATHETIC MORTAL PIECE OF SHIT.  Would history even notice if you died?  Make me notice.  Make God notice you.

Well, I mainly descended to Earth to bask in my power and glory as a god.  I hope at the very minimum I’ve hurt some feelings.

This has been a Festivus airing of grievances.


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